Oh, but my darling...what if you fly?
On April 16, 2019 I got fired from my job. I am 43, have a doctorate degree, am a single mom, and made a six-figure salary. And yet, there I was being told my employment was terminated. It wasn’t because I didn’t do my job well. I was often praised for the high quality of my work. My boss just didn’t want me there anymore. That was it.
Do you feel that kick in the gut? I did. And, many of you have probably felt it too. Since that day I have talked to so many of you who have similar stories, or recruiters who have heard it all from every rank and industry. These events aren’t fair, and they can send you into a tail-spin of self-doubt and grief that is hard to get out of.
My immediate response to losing my job was to open my own consulting business. The possibility of failing loomed loudly. What if it doesn’t work? What if no one wants me now? What if they find out I got fired? What if I don’t know how to market myself? What if I FAIL??
This was obviously not a good way to encourage myself. At some point, I decided to put fear on the shelf. I would no longer make decisions based on fear. Instead of worrying about what would happen if I fail, I started thinking about what could happen if I fly. It turns out that a lot can happen. And while I am not quite soaring above the highest hills, I can feel my wings getting stronger and more capable. Here are a few things that happened in the last three months…
I grew my network by 300+ people and counting. I told the entire LinkedIn universe what happened, and the response was incredible. I made it a habit to reach out and invite those who connected with me to get on the phone. I listened and learned a lot. Some of those calls have led to consulting work. For many others, I have made many new friends and industry contacts. (If I didn’t invite you, call me!)
I started a blog and a newsletter and people actually read them! Being on my own has liberated me to share my ideas freely and start conversations with like-minded thought leaders I would never have thought to meet otherwise.
I spend more time with my friends. My new feeling of freedom has translated into my social life. I have more coffee dates, lunch dates, and wine dates! I’ve made new, authentic friendships that I enjoy and value.
I got invited to speak in Saudi Arabia! I will be attending the SFDA conference to speak about patient-focused policy.
I had old clients come back. There are few things as validating as having a client for whom you did work in the past come knocking on your door again.
I had new clients come calling. I am working on exciting innovations and new policy. The diversity of work is fueling new ideas for my policy work, writing, and teaching.
I am teaching more. I have a new course to teach this fall at Northeastern with more to come.
I submitted a manuscript and have one more on the way.
I had my RAPS panel abstract accepted and I’ve lined up an all-star group to share the stage with me
I joined Twitter. (Still trying to figure out if that was a good life choice.)
I could have, and very much wanted to, hide under my bed. Sharing my situation so publicly made me vulnerable. But it also opened me up to opportunity. I realized this is exactly what a network is for, especially one that I’ve taken care to build. These are the people who will pull you up with the last remaining strings of your dignity and keep you going. They will encourage you, give you advice, and refer clients and job postings. I have one colleague who has called me every week to see how I am doing and to give me advice.
When we open ourselves up to the possibility that there might be more for us out there, we invite opportunity to come knocking. We will always be able to name the ways that we might fail. But we really find our freedom when we discover all the ways we might fly.
p.s. Yes, that is a real tattoo on my right arm that I got last week. I have many, but this is the first that everyone can see. It is a reminder that I should never give up. And a shout-out to my authentic self.